Lilly

Welcome faithful (?) blog readers. Once again, my most sincere apologies for my delinquent posting frequency.

hmmmm, what have I been up to…

There has been one a many bake-a-thon’s. I have managed to skillfully avoid the hazardous brown sugar explosion. I traded it in for a vanilla extract flooding. Do not worry, once again, I am ok. It is difficult to pin point exactly what is happening. I therefore advise you not to try. I do know however, it is good preparation for the mother of all bake-a-thon’s yet to come. The bake-a-thon dreams are made of, the bake-a-thon people will be talking about for centuries. The bake-a-thon for the Lopez Holiday Gathering. I, Ninja Nan, am in charge of all things sugar laden and sweet. Like Chris DeBurgh’s lady in red, “You were amazing” they will say, “amazing”.

Ok, so X-country ski season is upon us now. And so, I ask, how better to ring the season in, but with the sacrifice of 2 more toe nails. That’s right; 5 out of my once 10 toe nails are striking shades of purple. Not just purple, deep purple with dark blue undertones. Dazzling. That’s 50% percent folks. All natural too. What’s more, 2 of the 5 have commenced freeing themselves from their evil captors, the toes. The incredible de-hydro talks of a 2-day x-country ski trip into a hut this weekend. It is therefore quite possible that we will see yet another rise in these already alarming numbers.

I have a new friend Lilly. Lilly arrived last week. She arrived out of thin air. Lilly is small, but she is growing. She was white, and now she is red (and a little purple). Lilly makes me see things differently. She is not entirely welcome, but much like myself, she is stubborn, and so I’ve but no choice but to embrace her arrival. Lilly is a stunning lump on my left eye lid. (What the heck???). The eye man assures me that I will not lose an eye. I will not go blind, and first and foremost, that I do not have glaucoma. Pheww. He assures me that my vision is excellent, that the muscles in my eyes are very strong, and that eye balls work very well together (Now, if only I could get my toes and their once good friends the nails to get along). He assures me, that with time and treatment, Lilly will soon be but a memory. He has backed the claim up by offering to cut Lilly out if I like. (What the hell is wrong with this man? No I don’t like, I don’t like one bit.)

Did you know? Everyone in the world is getting married. It’s very very exciting. Cousin and room mate of 6 years, getting married, little brother, getting married, good friend Juan from university, yup, you guessed it, getting married. Love is in the air my friends. Luckily, I’m in a protective bubble.

So, in light of all this love, I go bridesmaid dress shopping. Shopping is tough on me. Dress shopping is particularly tough. I generally end up looking like one of 2 things a) a European candy wrapper (you see, the European’s wrap their candy in things far fancier than say the tootsie roll wrapper), or b) a cross dressing body builder in the off season. Alas, I try a pretty little white one on. “Ooh it’s pretty.” “The back is very pretty” they say, “Yes the back is very pretty”. This goes on for a while. I agree, “Yes, the back is pretty”. I revisit the dress minutes later, only to discover that I had tried the dress on backwards. Now, please realize something special has just happened here folks. Most feminine figures can not do what I just managed to pull off. That is, wear the back of the dress, the flatest part of the dress, at the front, and have nobody notice. I thank God everyday for these small blessings. 2 for 1. Now there's a deal to make mom proud.

I’m outta hear sucka’s.