My Zebra's are Tall

Funny Face Running: Running at a pace that is only sustainable with a funny face. Extreme Funny Face Runinng: One step up from Funny Face Running. Loud wheezing and chest grabbing often accompany it. It can be mistaken for Cardiac Arrest. With Extreme funny face running, funny face takes a turn towards scary face. This is what my coach has me doing. I'm not even sure it's legal. In fact, I'm certain the human rights people would not be pleased.

I recently ran the Canmore 1/2 marathon. I did 2 funny face runs that week. I was tired and scared going in. Here's how it went:

Kilometer 0.5: "Hey, this ain't so bad"
Kilometer 1.0: "What's this, oh my shins are warm, neat"
Kilometer 1.5: "Hmmmmmm, I wonder what the Canmore fire squad response times are like"
Kilometer 2.0: "Fire! Fire! My shins are on fire!"
Kilometer 3.0: "There is a God!"
Kilometer 4.0 - 20: Funny Face Running.
Kilometer 20.0: Extreme Funny Face Running.

What happens at Kilometer 3? The course turns to gravel. Flames are extinguished and I set a new PR. I consider myself lucky. In my opinion a good performance is 50% preparation, 50% luck. There are so many variables: coarse profile, fire shin volatility, funny face threshold, the weatherman co-operating, digestive tract explosiveness, etc.

And now, a tribute to Lola. Yes, Lola is gone. All will miss my sassy little white spotted 95 Neon Sport. Like a snow leopard, she was fast and furious. Like a fine wine, she got better with age. And as the years came and went (9.5), so did the features.

Came: The mechanic maker. The inside panel of the passenger door would snag on the frame as you opened the door. The mechanic maker turned every male passenger into a mechanic. "I can fix that", they would say. Oh my sweet, sweet Lola.
Went: The A/C
Came: The super secure winter trunk feature. Not even God could get into the trunk in the winter. She was always so cautious.
Went: The tape deck.
Came: The high speed highway massage. At speeds in excess of 120 KM/h Lola would vibrate. You know, to ease the tension for the long drive. She was so caring.
Went: The horse power.
Came: The audio speed indicator. You could always tell how fast you were going by the volume of the wind entering through the passenger door. She was so clever & practical.
Went: The paint
Came: The Dancing Diva Hip Release Lock on the driver's side door. The driver's side door would not open until I gave it a good hip check. Yes she was practical, yet fun.

I once read a great quote. Nan's Notes version: "Don't be sad it's over, be happy it happened in the first place." And so, here I am, happy to have had Lola.

On that note, I would like to welcome Ole' Bargey to the family. She is big and beautiful and I truly believe she could double as a large water vessel. We will make many beautiful memories together I'm sure.

I must move on now. Interesting Story. So, a man bathed in cologne offers me some oranges. I inquire as to the state of the oranges, are they safe, are they juicy, why he doesn't want them etc. Bathed in cologne man responds with the following, "I don't like fruits and vegetables". Ok, strange that he brought them for lunch, but ok. Then picking up an apple he turns to me and says "I like these. I like apples". Um, OK...I attribute the aforementioned stroke of genius to the effect of bathing in cologne on cognitive functioning.

I went home this past weekend. I was reminded of many things. In particular, I was reminded of the day my buddy, my brother, took the literary world by storm. (I think it runs in the family, the knack for writing that is). He wrote and recorded the following poem at the tender age of 3, or 4? It was some small integer less than or equal to 5 anyways.

Zebra's Zebra's they are tall,
very tall, very tall
yes Indeed they are.
Indeed they can go through water,
go through puddles
yeah, yeah.
Tornado's are very baaaad
They torn houses down
Zebra's are tall

Nan's Notes:
How he uses the word zebra in place of giraffe, it's deceptive and brilliant. The way he says "very tall" twice, to emphasize the height of the "zebra", exceptional. Then, he does something that high school teacher's dreams are made of, he supports his argument, zebra's can go through water, with an example, zebra's can go through puddles. Cunning. And the part about tornados, a seamless transition into an obviously related and important topic. Then just when you think it couldn't get any better, the kicker, "Zebra's are tall". A flawless finish to a perfect poem. His work is life changing. To this day when somebody says zebra, I think giraffe. Yup, my zebra's are tall .

Sharing my secrets
Nan.