Life's Little Lessons
Um, hello? It is nan. I am nan, and I am a blog failure. I will try much harder. 'nuff said.
Some of the valuable lessons learned in the last 2 months:
1) Advanced Cycling Tricks
I managed to perfectly execute an advanced cycling trick known commonly as "The endo". Get this, that same day, a close friend successfully executed another advanced trick, the "Creek Dive". The two maneuvers are strikingly similar. They differ in that with the creek dive your head is actually submersed in the creek. With the endo there is little or no hydration. Yes, with the endo, only air is inhaled. Well ... air and small amounts of life giving dirt. Life will often bring you things great of beauty when you least expect it.
2) Planning Pays.
I had prepared a legally binding statement in preparation for stampede week. "I nan, will not be held accountable for any intimate acts that take place beneath the watchful eye shady brady". Shady is my cowboy hat. As the statement was not required this year, I choose to carry this statement forward through to next year. One less thing on my plate. I am comforted.
3) Expand Your Horizons.
There were more dates with the Dominican, then....there were no dates with the Dominican. I did learn however, I have an attraction to Latino men. And now I ask, rubbery, Latino, shaggy haired, mountain men of Calgary, where art tho? Yes, I have revoked the "tall" requirement. I no longer discriminate based on height. I am bigger a person for this. Never stop growing. (I should do a milk add).
4) How to Attract Attention
Gather 8 of your female friends (make sure at least half are hot). Drink until the level of intoxication is quite high. Stumble to the nearest small town bar. (The "small " is key here, in a small town bar, if you've brought 4 hot friends, chances are there are 4-5 hot women in the bar, total.) Do a round of tequila shots. Make your way to the dance floor. Wait for gentlemen callers (no need for patience, it will happen quickly).
5) Practice Practice Practice
I hoped to kick start my trip around the universe with a ride to the sun. Ride was cancelled. Foiled. I hoped to kick start my arc trip. It stopped raining. Foiled. No worries. In order to execute either, I realized I must win the lottery. Notes to self 1) buy lottery ticket 2) practice lottery winning face. Perhaps I could pull something from my collection of dancing faces. Save some time.
6) Do Good Work
People have been praising my work. Strange, but interesting. Also interesting, there has been a rapid spike in substance abuse at the office. Secret of course. Co-incedence, I most definatley think so. Praise is a thing of beauty. Great for the ego. My suggestion, do good work, or bring booze. Feel good about yourself.
Bachata babe signing off.
Nan.
Some of the valuable lessons learned in the last 2 months:
1) Advanced Cycling Tricks
I managed to perfectly execute an advanced cycling trick known commonly as "The endo". Get this, that same day, a close friend successfully executed another advanced trick, the "Creek Dive". The two maneuvers are strikingly similar. They differ in that with the creek dive your head is actually submersed in the creek. With the endo there is little or no hydration. Yes, with the endo, only air is inhaled. Well ... air and small amounts of life giving dirt. Life will often bring you things great of beauty when you least expect it.
2) Planning Pays.
I had prepared a legally binding statement in preparation for stampede week. "I nan, will not be held accountable for any intimate acts that take place beneath the watchful eye shady brady". Shady is my cowboy hat. As the statement was not required this year, I choose to carry this statement forward through to next year. One less thing on my plate. I am comforted.
3) Expand Your Horizons.
There were more dates with the Dominican, then....there were no dates with the Dominican. I did learn however, I have an attraction to Latino men. And now I ask, rubbery, Latino, shaggy haired, mountain men of Calgary, where art tho? Yes, I have revoked the "tall" requirement. I no longer discriminate based on height. I am bigger a person for this. Never stop growing. (I should do a milk add).
4) How to Attract Attention
Gather 8 of your female friends (make sure at least half are hot). Drink until the level of intoxication is quite high. Stumble to the nearest small town bar. (The "small " is key here, in a small town bar, if you've brought 4 hot friends, chances are there are 4-5 hot women in the bar, total.) Do a round of tequila shots. Make your way to the dance floor. Wait for gentlemen callers (no need for patience, it will happen quickly).
5) Practice Practice Practice
I hoped to kick start my trip around the universe with a ride to the sun. Ride was cancelled. Foiled. I hoped to kick start my arc trip. It stopped raining. Foiled. No worries. In order to execute either, I realized I must win the lottery. Notes to self 1) buy lottery ticket 2) practice lottery winning face. Perhaps I could pull something from my collection of dancing faces. Save some time.
6) Do Good Work
People have been praising my work. Strange, but interesting. Also interesting, there has been a rapid spike in substance abuse at the office. Secret of course. Co-incedence, I most definatley think so. Praise is a thing of beauty. Great for the ego. My suggestion, do good work, or bring booze. Feel good about yourself.
Bachata babe signing off.
Nan.
posted by Nan at
9:14 AM
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