Hodge Podge

Riding

I'm still talking dirty to the epic. I hope it lasts forever. What commitment issues?

I set a new personal distance record, 240 km. I was so excited! My bum and the neighbor were not nearly as excited. In a previous post I dumped my riding partner in the not so smart bucket. I would like to revoke the decision. I would like to create a new bucket, the "dude" bucket.

I may have tricked a friend into doing the transrockies next year. I will inform the bum and neighbor at a later date. It's already been a tough summer.

Running

I may have chosen my fall marathon, Humboldt Redwoods. Why? If I'm sneaky, I think I can turn it into a biking/climbing holiday. I have approximately 16 weeks to turn myself into a lean mean running machine. I am currently neither lean nor mean. I will be busy.

I met a crazy lady. I call her crazy running rain lady. Crazy running rain lady barricaded the trail. She brought forward progression to a grinding halt. It was ok. She had incredibly intelligent things to say. Things such as, "The rain is coming, look, can you feel it, look, the rain is coming, look, can you feel it, I can feel it, can you feel it ... etc." The 5-day forecast went on for some time. Like all things, it came time to bring the forecast to an end. I called upon my thespian skill set. I played a girl coming to a shocking realization, the realization that rain was approaching, the realization that forward motion must commence at once, or I might die. The barricade came down. I left my friend solo to analyze the high and low pressure systems in Calgary and surrounding area.

Natural Disasters

In the face of a natural disaster I finalized plans for an arc. The plan: build arc, gather cute animals (furry and non-furry, I do not discriminate), float to beer island. Beer island: A magical place where the boys are gorgeous shaggy haired mountain men looking for a Spanish, medium size, salsa dancing, ninja girl. Alas, the rain has ceased. Foiled. So now I'm finalizing plans to travel the universe in a bowler with my bikes and climbing gear.

Work

Remember, think big.

I did not think it could be done. This week, I may have done the impossible. I may have completed the never-ending project. I'm as shocked as you are. Take a seat, I find it helps. I've also been asked to be a life coach. Let us reflect for a moment on the fortune I will acquire: "Oh why hello there bowler..."

Approaching the mat face first

Let us take yet another moment to appreciate the things we take for granted. For example, your internal level. Confused? It's the mechanism that keeps your balance in tact. Something has thrown mine off. I think I will upgrade to the new laser level model. They are cheap now. At salsa my spinning rivaled that of the Tasmanian devil, slightly out of control and lots of character. At yoga, well, here's my yoga story... I'm at yoga, I'm hot, I'm rubbery and well frankly, I'm feeling good. I decide to step it up a notch, to take a standing pose just a little deeper. If you've ever watched the old batman television series, take yourself back for a second...uh-oh, whoah ... whoah ... "eeeek" ... bang, boom, crash ... "owee". I fell right the f*ck over...in stages. Luckily, I was born flexible. Despite the fact I was standing, my right shoulder hooked on the outside of my left knee, with the position advancing at an unnatural rate, I managed to escape injury free. I polished the surely impressive maneuver off with a giggle. I will make a fine ninja, a fine ninja indeed. A ninja with flare. They will hail to bachata babe.

I once went to a 2 1/2 hour level 3 yoga class hung over. This class was also full of flare. I have a lot of flare.

Misc

Well it appears as though avocado and peanut butter consumption has plateued. Still no sign of breasts. Hmmm.

I did pilates once. I'm tired of pilates.

Things that stump me

1) What is it that women find alluring in watching a shiny speedo clad chauch hump the ground?
2) What would bring a topless woman to stand directly in front of a perpetually opening change room door to wash her face?
3) Why must I run in a spot while at a red light, is it instinct? Will I die if I stop?

I'm outta here.